Bible Jokes

1. The Bible is the only book where *skipping chapters* counts as a spiritual discipline.

2. Genesis starts with creation.
Leviticus starts with commitment issues.

3. Everyone loves “all Scripture is inspired” until it’s genealogies.

4. Psalms covers every emotion except “mildly inconvenienced.”

5. Proverbs isn’t advice — it’s exposure.

6. Job didn’t lose his faith.
He lost his patience first.

7. Song of Solomon: proof the Bible is rated “Holy, not G-rated.”

8. Ecclesiastes reads like Solomon tried journaling after a long day.

9. The Bible has more drama than reality TV and no commercial breaks.

10. God wrote the Bible knowing we would highlight verses and ignore instructions.

11. Jonah ran from God like God doesn’t see *everything*.

12. Moses spent 40 years leading people who asked, “Are we there yet?”

13. David defeated giants but struggled with accountability.

14. Samson’s downfall was a bad haircut and worse decisions.

15. The Bible teaches patience by placing Numbers right after Leviticus.

16. Jesus spoke in parables because people weren’t ready for the group chat version.

17. “Selah” means pause — not scroll.

18. The Bible doesn’t sugarcoat anything.
It documents *everybody*.

19. The New Testament is basically God saying, “Let Me explain.”

20. The Bible will comfort you… then immediately ask you to change.

21. Every Bible reader has a favorite translation and strong opinions.

22. Revelation makes you want to repent *just in case*.

23. The Bible proves God works with flawed people — consistently.

24. Scripture hits harder when you realize it’s talking to *you*.

25. The Bible isn’t confusing.
We’re just selective readers 😅